AuDHD and Sex - The Struggle is Real
Navigating regular social interactions can be challenging for many AuDHD individuals but when we add sexual desire and physical intimacy it makes things infinitely harder. Here are some things to think about and tips to help you on your journey.
Let Things Unfold Naturally: When meeting someone in person, try to let things happen naturally instead of having rigid expectations. This can reduce anxiety and lead to a more genuine connection.
Physical Touch Through Massage: If you crave physical touch, massage can be a safe and comfortable way to fulfill this need. It’s a great way to experience physical contact in a controlled environment.
Communicate About Intimacy: Remember, intimacy might look different for you than for your partner. Open and honest communication about your needs and boundaries is essential for a healthy relationship.
Be Confident and Direct: Confidence and directness about your feelings and desires can prevent misunderstandings and foster deeper connections. Don’t be afraid to express yourself clearly.
Media Misconceptions: Pop culture often depicts intimacy as a linear, step-by-step process. In reality, it’s much more complex and personal. Don’t be misled by these oversimplified portrayals.
Choose Connections Carefully: As AuDHD individuals, it’s important to be cautious about who you form connections with. Relationships, even platonic ones, can be challenging to establish and maintain.
Sensory Issues and Sexuality: Autism can impact how you experience and express sexuality due to sensory issues. You might need more or less stimulation, or different types of stimulation. Understanding your needs is key.
Embrace Non-Conforming Identities: Many autistic and neurodivergent individuals have non-conforming sexual and romantic identities. Embrace this diversity—it’s an important part of who you are.
Be Wary of Abusive Patterns: Autistic and ADHD individuals can be more susceptible to abusive patterns like love-bombing. Recognizing these behaviors and setting firm boundaries can protect your well-being.
No matter how you approach sexual desire and physical intimacy, it is important to remember that safety. This goes beyond our physical safety. We need to ensure that we are mentally and emotionally safe as well. Start small in your social interactions, have realistic expectations, and use clear communication.
Resources
Looking After Your Autistic Self: A Personalised Self-care Approach to Managing Your Sensory and Emotional Well-being by Niamh Garvey
Contributors: Kaitlyn, Kathaniel, Nik, Vida