Managing Hyper-Empathy
There is a common misconception in society that Autistic individuals don’t or can’t experience empathy. This is a generalized stereotype and not true! Autistics actually may just have differences in their ability to identify and express their emotions.
There are different types of empathy:
Cognitive Empathy: knowing how another person feels
Emotional/Affective Empathy: feeling what another person feels alongside them
Compassionate Empathy: feeling what another person feels as well as being moved to help them
Motor Empathy: Unconsciously mirroring facial expressions, copying body language, speech, or yawn from another person
Somatic Empathy: Experiencing a physical response to what another person may be feeling
Many Autistic members report feeling empathy for others to an extreme and can become personally dysregulated by this experience, otherwise known as hyper-empathy.
We can manage hyper-empathy through identifying and setting internal boundaries for ourselves.
Notice what emotional and mental capacity space you have and respect it at all times.
Like the saying goes… it is hard to pour from an empty cup!
Identify when spending too much energy on regulating another’s emotions
We may feel the urge to act as a therapist for someone else, but risk becoming codependent. Ultimately, every individual should be given the autonomy to process through their own emotions.
We may project emotional support or validation onto others that we may wish to receive if in the same situation (trauma response)
When noticing ourselves becoming overly-empathetic and becoming consumed…
Communicate the need for a regulation break and detach temporarily as needed for your own mental well-being
Consider chatting about the situation with a trusted friend or therapist to process big emotions and “worries” out loud, especially on situations we have no control over
Allow others to communicate what kind of support they may need, rather than just assuming. It’s okay to ask what kind of support someone needs if you aren’t sure and they aren’t clearly communicating that.
Be aware when someone may be taking advantage of your empathetic nature:
Do they only come to you when they want to vent to you?
Do they not offer the same help or safe space for you to vent as well?
Does it seem as though they are using their strong emotions as a bargaining chip?
Ask yourself - what role am I playing for this person? Am I being emotionally manipulated?
Resources:
Emotion Sensation Feeling Wheel
Different Types of Empathy by Embrace Autism
Contributors: Kaitlyn, Kathaniel, Nik