How to Be Aware of Our Growth and Change
Use a journal to keep track of both the small steps and the big milestones on your way to growth and change. They are all important! Even if it's just one sentence about one thing you are happy to have done for the day.
We tend to remember the negatives over positives. The purpose of using tools like journaling isn't just to give us an outlet to vent, but also a place to record the progress we've made.
Use this to reflect on what you have accomplished. Recognize the struggles you have gone through, but try to re-frame and give yourself credit.
Some find that getting feedback from trusted friends on how they see you is a good method to assess progress.
Still remember that you can hear someone's perspective without adopting it.
Be analytical about any feedback given to you. That doesn't mean you have to push back or argue, but use it to practice validating yourself by assessing what may or may not actually apply to you.
If it feels too much like your 'work' is done after you've had a conversation like this, then these interactions may be delving into 'external validation' territory and that may indicate a need to re-evaluate them.
Remember that asking for help is something to be celebrated! It can take a lot for us to recognize in ourselves the need and to reach out to others.
We often mask when asked ‘How are you doing?’, and we will push ourselves in exactly the wrong direction in order to prove what we tell people. This could be thought of as a form of internalized masking.
It can appear as a 'work ethic' or 'productivity', or 'strength', to others, but it can be a detrimental factor when trying to acquaint ourselves with our own needs.
Remember to give yourself grace for skill regression. External metrics like job performance, etc. are not how we should judge ourselves. Compare yourself to your lowest point, and the progress you were able to make past it. Even if there were many lows, you still made steps forward.
Accept where you are right now. It's okay to think about how you got here, but rumination on everything that could have been different will lead down an unhelpful path.
Sometimes the changes we make don’t work out. And that is okay! Don’t beat yourself up or consider it wasted time. It made sense at the time for the step you were on. Or maybe you will find that you can revisit that step once you've gone up a few others!
Contributors: Kaitlyn, Kathaniel, Nik