Learning to Shift Your Perspective and Challenge Internalized Ableism After Diagnosis
Internalized Ableism is the way that an individual absorbs and applies the beliefs and moral judgments of their culture, at a subconscious level. In other words, it's how we absorb and apply the beliefs (and language) our society has about disability to ourselves and others we see ourselves in.
How do these thoughts in our head develop and turn into our beliefs?
Parents or other loved ones in childhood may have been uneducated on neurodivergent traits and labeled you as “lazy, sensitive, dramatic, not trying hard enough, difficult, etc”
One may have noted negative attention others similar to them received and didn’t want it (i.e. noticing a peer is bullied for something you also like to do, so you stop doing it to prevent being bullied yourself)
Society paints a picture of what “success” looks like and is deeply rooted in capitalism
Shame has developed from needing supports when it appears like others don’t
We typically have differences in our ability to identify and understand our own bodily signals (interoception or alexithymia) and often don’t know what our true limits are
Become aware and recognize your signs of internalized ableism. Do you often compare your abilities to others? Are you often thinking, “I should …xyz” or “I shouldn't have to…xyz'' because that was the expectation that was taught? Ask yourself… who’s expectation or “rule” is this? When and where did these thoughts first develop?
Be curious and compassionate towards others’ knowledge or education on neurodivergence. Many people make statements or judgements purely out of just not understanding or having the same experience. Just because another may not experience the world in the way you do, does not make your experiences invalid. Be curious and compassionate with yourself too.
Acknowledge that it takes time to unlearn previous gaslighting habits and learn how to identify what our specific individual needs are.We may be so used to “pushing past our limits” that we aren’t even sure where our limits are. Utilize tools for internal check ins to begin to learn what emotional, executive functioning, and/or sensory supports you may need to be most functional and mentally well. Give yourself time and patience to learn - you deserve it.
Book Recommendations:
Unmasking Autism, Laziness Does not Exist, and Unlearning Shame by Dr Devon Price
Untypical by Pete Wharmby
The Undercover Autistic: Navigating Your Diagnosis by Leigh East
Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity by Steve Silberman
Resources mentioned:
STEAR Mapping
BLOG: Recently Diagnosed as Autistic and Realizing My Own Prejudice by Andi Barclay: https://neuroclastic.com/recently-diagnosed-as-autistic-and-realizing-my-own-prejudice/
Contributors: Kaitlyn, Kathaniel, Nik