Building Security In Ourselves to Help Process Big Emotions
To find security in ourselves we have to first feel safe, understand ourselves, and be able to communicate with ourselves. All before we communicate our needs to others.
Affirm yourself and validate your own emotions.
If this has felt not genuine to you in the past, imagine someone you respect or admire telling it to you, instead.
Or act as if you are telling your childhood self.
This can be done just in your head, written out, or just talking to yourself.
Guided meditation or journaling can be excellent tools for this as well.
Part of knowing ourselves is also accepting the parts that we are not proud of.
This can be a very emotionally heavy process and is often best done with the help of a mental health professional, if you have access to them.
When we know ourselves better, we can more easily detach our sense of self from what others say about us. And can better advocate for our needs. If you wouldn't take advice from someone, don't take their criticism!
Sometimes security can be helped along by others while we build it in ourselves.
Recognizing and appreciating a 'safe' person for you to: unmask around, express yourself around, etc. This is often other people who are also neurodivergent!
Having people that can respect the boundaries and accommodations that you have set.
This doesn't mean we should become dependent on them for validation. But we can confirm what we have affirmed in ourselves through them.
Books Recommended:
“Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones” by James Clear
“Inner Child Recovery Workbook: Heal Childhood Trauma, Abandonment, Neglect, and Abuse. Includes Prompts, Exercises and Activities to Overcome Trust Issues, and Recover from Unhealthy Relationships)” by Linda Hill
Resources Mentioned:
Finch care: self care and affirmations
https://finchcare.com/
Contributors: Kaitlyn, Kathaniel, Nik